In order to get the Baudelaire’s fortune (that the children can’t use until Violet, the oldest of the three children, turns 18 years old), Count Olaf will create horrible and every time darker plans that involve lies, disguises and sometimes murder.

But the three intelligent children (Violet, an amazing inventor; Klaus, a great researcher; and Sunny, with four incredibly sharp teeth) will make their own plans in order to escape from Count Olaf.

The first book, The Bad Beginning; or Orphans!,  was published in 1999 by Harper Collins and illustrated by Brett Helquist. The writer, Lemony Snicket, explains the story of the Baudelaire children, their family, their enemies, their friends and complicated words and phrases. After the jump, spoilers of the plot will start.

 Ok, everything starts with the children at Briny Beach playing as usual. The author shows his ability to describe sad moments with some kind of mystery and black humor. The descriptions of Violet, Klaus and Sunny are detailed, starting on what they do when they’re thinking (Violet ties her hair with a ribbon, Klaus tries to remember what he read on their parents library and Sunny just bites things).

When Mr. Poe (the Baudelaire’s banker) comes to Briny Beach to tell the children that their parents died in a fire that destroyed their entire house is a very cold moment. You can feel the kids sadness and you can’t feel anything but sorry for the children. Anyway, Mr. Poe takes them to their destroyed house. Ok! At that part I feel kinda insulted because, why the hell did Mr. Poe showed the kids their destroyed house minutes after he told them that their parents are death? He could have wait a few days.

Violet, Klaus and Sunny lives a few days in the house of Mr. Poe (wich sounds incredibly annoying and boring, specially when he’s coughing). Then, the banker tells them that their parent’s testament says that the children must live with a familiar and Mr. Poe takes them to their first guardian’s house. In the road, Mr. Poe says that the man who becomes their guardian is not their closest familiar (he’s their 3 times destituited and 4 times restituited cousin). That is stupid. Why didn’t he took them with a more closer familiar? I mean, with an uncle or an aunt. But Mr. Poe gives a lame excuse: because that man lives near the city.

Later, Mr. Poe says that this man is Count Olaf, an actor. The children arrive in a very gray – wich here means sad and depressing – neighborhood, in front of a beautiful house with a beautiful garden. A woman is working in the garden and introduces herself to the children. She’s Justice Strauss, a judge in the high court. She seems nice and the kids think that they’re going to live with her but, the Baudelaire’s life is way too miserable to be true. Justice Strauss says that they’re going to live with her neighbor and not with her and then points at a horrible house even dirtier and uglier than the neighborhood.

The orphans meet heir legal guardian, the ugly and messy Count Olaf, and his horrible and dirty house – ugly and messy, and horrible and dirty means the same. At the beginning the children thinks that the first impression doesn’t matter in this case. But with the following days they discover that they were wrong about that. The man gives the three children exhausting chores everyday while he looks himself in the house’s tower. One particular day he tell the kids that they must cook a dinner for him and his theater troupe (10 people, and 13 counting the children). Surprisingly, hey don’t know how to cook. They go to Justice Strauss’ house and ask her for help. At the end, the Baudelaire children mad puttanesca sauce. When Count Olaf arrives he says that he didn’t want to eat puttanesca sauce, wich was pretty dumb because that’s an amazing plate.

The troupe eats the food anyway and, at the end of the lovely (sarcasm) evening, he slaps Klaus in the face and treath Violet by saying that he’ll hurt her brother and Sunny if they don’t do what he wants. Of course, the children go to Mr. Poe’s work to tell him how awful is to live with Count Olaf but Mr. Poe doesn’t believe them and says that Count Olaf is acting in loco parentis. I admire Lemony Snicket only because he introduced “in loco parentis” in a children’s book.

In loco parentis is a legal term wich in latin means something about trains according to the children, but it really means that no matter how Count Olaf treat the children, they can do nothing because he’s their legal guardian. Later, the Baudelaire orphans discover that Olaf is trying to steal their fortune by marring with Violet.

Lemony Snicket made Count Olaf a very intelligent man because Olaf creates this false play called The Marvelous Marriage in order to marry Violet. He makes Violet dress with a white dress, say “I do” and firm a paper in front of Justice Strauss, who thought that it was just a play. Of course, the kids knew all that but Count Olaf kidnapped Sunny. Another thing that I really admire of Lemony Snicket is how well he writes about torture, because Count Olaf puts Sunny in a bird-cage that’s hanging in the window of the 30 feet tall tower. Violet tried to rescue her little sister but fails.

Everything looks like Count Olaf won and that the children will live a miserable life as servants and wife. Again, Lemony Snicket creates a pretty good atmosphere where you think what I just told you. But, again, he shows how intelligent these kids are. Count Olaf thinks that he won and then tells the audience that everything was a scam but, during his winning speech, Violet reveals that she didn’t marry him. The law said that the bride must say “I do” in front of a judge and sign a legal document with her own hand. Violet is right-handed. But she signs with her left hand. Immediately, Count Olaf is considered a good specimen for jail due to this and Mr. Poe (who was in the audience) tries to catch him.

The sad thing is that one of Olaf’s assistants turned off the lights so he could escape. Count Olaf disappeared but not after he could tell Violet that no matter how, he will steal the Baudelaire fortune and will kill the three children. After that big surprise, everybody goes home and Justice Strauss tells the children that they can live with her. They get all excited with the idea but Mr. Poe says that they can’t live with her. although she’s a really nice person, the Baudelaire parents’ testament says that the children must live with a relative and Justice Strauss was neither a cousin nor any kind of familiar.

Mr. Poe takes the children with him and the last scene describes how a sad Justice Strauss says good-bye to the children and how the children says good-bye to Justice Strauss. The four, crying, close the story. One last drawn and a letter by Lemony Snicket explains some things about the second book, The Reptile Room; or Murder!, and keeps us with the excitement up.

So, that was the first book. I’ll write the review of the second book soon. Until then, bye!

M.J.

Rigth now, I’m kinda of obsess with Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events. I discovered these books by watching the 2004 motion picture Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events, with Jude Law as the narrator, Jim Carrey as Count Olaf and Daniel Handler as Lemony Snicket (wich is pretty ironic, because Lemony Snicket doesn’t exists, he’s just a character created by Daniel Handler himself). We can find in those books the really, really, really sad story of the Boudelaire children, who after the first book become the Boudelaire orphans.

Anyway, I wanted to read the books becasue someone told me that the movie has cut some of the parts in the books. I really hate that, but the movie was actually good. So, I watched the movie in 2004 and I expended 5 years trying to find the books so I could read them. I never find them. Apparently, in this country, the editorial was bought by the government and any library wanted to sell the books produced by the government (you can imagine wich tipe of president we have here).

So, in 2009, I was in a library buying school materials and when I was losing my time walking across the bookshelves, I found the second of the 13-books saga, “The Reptile Room”. I bought it immediately. I spent that year trying to find the other 12 books, but I couldn’t find neither the first nor the other eleven books.

Recently, I found a way I can read them. Some people may think it’s an irracional, impossible and maybe ilegal way, but I’m happy that I can enjoy the sad stories of the Boudelaire orphans. Lemony Snicket/Daniel Handler is an amazing writter, and this saga is really great. I hope anybody could read it at any time in their lives. Anyway, by the time I’m writing this post I’d read the firts 4 books and I’m going to make posts about the ones that I already read and the ones that I’m going to read very soon.

The first book, The Bad Beginning; or Orphans! will be commented soon.

With all due respect,

M.J.

If you enjoy reading as much as I do, please, feel free to comment. If you want to recomend a book, do it. If you want to share your ideas about the post, do it. If you want to disagree with my ideas, post it. If you want to threat someone… well, in that case I beg you not to do it.

Anyway. Thanks for reading! And remember: Read a good book, a newspaper and even a dirty napkin is, as a bowl of vainilla ice cream in the middle of a desert, one of the best things in the world.

M.J.